


If I had known

by Kraketan



Series: If I had known [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Give it a try, Growing Up, Hunting, John POV, Love, just stick with me, reader POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kraketan/pseuds/Kraketan
Summary: Reader loses parents at young age to a hunt. John decides to take you in even though he has no idea how to raise a girl. Once the reader hits a certain age he starts seeing you as a young woman and this changes his feelings for you in a way he never would have thought





	1. Poor kid. Age:6

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a little while now so please let me know what you think!

John POV

 

    It feels like I have been sitting here for hours. Just sitting in my impla staring out the windshield towards the ranch. I know the kids are in there. I know that one kid in particular is in there. That sweet little girl with hope and light in her eyes. She was the daughter of fellow hunters, strong ones at that. They had faced many evils in their hunts and always prevailed. Until now that is, until a stupid error in research cost them their lives. It was my fault, I asked for help, I overlooked the damn wendigo having friends. I thought it was just one but I was wrong. Five times wrong. I barely made it out of there while these good people got torn apart. Their screams followed me all the way to the car before I sped off. I closed my eyes and rubbed my beard thinking of the deep shit I find myself in. 

     Their little girl was now an orphan. I can't take on another damn kid, I barely take care of the two I have. Mary was the nurturing one, I was the disciplinarian. Hell I make the boys cry on a daily basis! There is no way I could take care of a girl. I'm just going to have to drop her at a fire station. They will take her no questions asked and put her in the system. Hopefully find her a good set of foster parents. That's the best I could do, besides the life on the road is no place for a little girl, its far too dangerous. I made up my mind. I'm going to collect the kids then drop her at the nearest fire station and get the hell outta dodge. 

     I climbed out of the car and slowly worked my way up to the door, damn I didn't want to do this. I slid the key the gave me into the lock, just in case they said. Turning the lock was so difficult, almost as if the lock was the strongest ever made. I know that's not the case though. I hardened my face and pushed the door open not at all ready to do this. The kids were wrapped up in blankets on the living room floor as the lion king p!ayed on the TV. Sammy was asleep drooling all over the pillow he had curled up on. The other two sat facing each other whispering so they don't wake Sam. Sharing little kid secrets and swapping ghost stories. I c!osed the door and cleared my throat. The two stopped whispering and looked up at me.  Dean wouldn't look me in the eye, yet the girl did. You smiled up at me with bright crooked teeth, you looked behind me expecting your parents. I took in a breath as I thought of what to say. 

"Get your things. Both of you " my voice was stern

"Where are mommy and daddy?"you asked confused

" I said get your things" I growled before walking over and picking up Sam

"Come on y/n" Dean said grabbing your hand and pulling you towards your bedroom

     I watched you go before I stepped back outside and towards the car. Opening the rear passenger side door I carefully set Sam into his carseat and buckled him in before covering him with his superman blanket. I stood up and softly closed the door just in time to hear the front door of the house open then close. The two of you walked with your backpacks on your backs up to me. I looked down at you both and sighed before squatting to your level. 

"Y/n I'm sorry to tell you but your mom and dad aren't coming home." I hoped you understood 

"What do you mean?" You asked 'fuck'

"They died." Like ripping off a band aid 

     Your eyes widened before overflowing with tears, loud sobs followed immediately. Dean looked at me with a frown then hugged his friend as you cried. I packed you both up in the car, reminding you to be quiet since Sam was sleeping. You nodded and c!imbed into the back with your knees pulled up to your chest. Dean didn't say anything as he climbed into the front seat. I got in and started the car, and headed towards the fire station I saw on thee way here. The drive there was silent except for occasional hiccups from you. When I pulled into the fire station Dean's head perked up. He looked at me confused. 

"What're we doin' here dad?" 

"We're dropping her off here Dean." I didn't even know the poor girl's name

"Why?" He asked as his ears started to turn red

"She's an orphan, this is where you drop them off" I glanced in the rearview to see you staring at me

"Why can't she be part of our family?" His voice rose slightly

"I can't take care of her" Dean didn't like that

"You can't get rid of her! She's a person not a piece of paper!" He was yelling now

"Dean you're going to wake Sam" this was difficult

"I don't care! Sammy wants her to stay!" He was determined

     I sighed and looked back at you. Your eyes wide and moist stared at me silent!y pleading with me. I sighed deeply before speaking. 

"What's your name?" 

"Y/n" you hiccupped at me

"Well y/n I tried to give you a chance" with that last thought I drove out of the parking lot and out of this town, no idea how to raise a girl. 


	2. Little lessons Age:7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snippit from the reader at age eight

**John POV**

I dropped the kids with Bobby a while ago. I figured they could use some stability and besides, they needed to be in school. I had been away for about 5 months and I figured it would be nice to see the kids. I looked at my watch trying to ignore the moms undressing me with their eyes. The bell should be ringing soon, please let it ring. I glanced over at a mom who was flat out staring at me. The shrill scream of the old metal bell caused me to look over to the front of the school. Seconds later the front doors flew open and kids starting pouring out. Sammy was one of the first ones outside, dragging his backpack behind him. He saw me and ran up to me with a weird look on his face.  
"Daddy are we leaving?" He pouted at me  
"I do nt know yet, get in the car" I answered honestly  
He climbed into the back seat of the impala and strapped himself into his carseat. God I can't wait until I can get rid of those things. Dean walked out of the school chatting with a blomnde girl, this made me grin to myself. As soon as he saw me he kissed the girls cheek and ran over. He just looked at me then hopped into the front seat i looked back up to keep an eye out for y/n. You walked out of the building clutching your pink backpack too her chest, looking around with puffy eyes. You had been crying. A few older boys walked out behind you and I saw you tense. They started pushing you and teasing you, until they were five feet away from me. The boys looked up at me then turned tail really quic!k. I looked down at the seven year old girl but you did not return my gaze. You sniffled a couple times keeping your head down. I squatted down to your level and lifted your chin with a couple fingers. You stared into my eyes with tears pouring from your y/e/c ones.  
"Why're you cryin'?" I asked  
"Those b-boys said I l-looked like a b-boy" you hiccupped out in response.  
This made my heart break, I was the one that made you cut your hair short so it would be easier for me to brush. I was the one that gave you Sam's old clothes, you were a small thing. Even your backpack was the one from your house the night we left.  
"Do you not like having short hair?" I asked, I got a head shake in response  
"We can let it grow" a wide smile crossed your features and you hugged me tightly  
"Thank you John" you grumbled into my ear  
I smiled and picked you up walking towards the impala and I loaded her into your carseat. I climbed into the drivers seat and started the beast before taking off towards Bobby's house.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning I dropped the kids off at school and promised I would pick them up when it let out. Not even two hours later while I was reading up on lore my phone rang. Not looking at the screen I picked it up.  
"Yeah?" I answered halfpaying attention  
"Good morning Mr.Winchester this is Mrs.Hudnall the principle at Uma elementary school. I'm calling about an incident that involved one of your children" I let out a groan  
"What'd Dean do?" I've had this call before  
"Actually Mr.Winchester it was y/n. She got in a fight with one of the other students causing him a broken nose, and one other student got stabbed in the leg with a pencils." My jaw dropped  
"I'll be right there"  
I snapped my phone shut and tore out of the house. When I got to the school I walked into the office to see two boys crying to their moms and y/n was sitting alone with scrapes and bruises on your face and arms. You looked up at me and I saw the color drain from your face. I knew I had to be angry but my heart swelled with pride when I noticed they were the boys from the day before. I walked over to you and picked you up and crushed you in a bear hug. You hugged me back immediately and whispered into my ear.  
"They made fun of me again" you Nuzzled into my neck  
"I know" I said and turned toglare at the moms before walking down the hall and collecting the boys.  
We all walked out of the school and loaded up in the impala getting ready to head off to the next town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	3. Monsters Age: 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader breaks one of John's biggest rules. How will john react? Will he learn to be understanding or will he be cold as he would be with the boys?

**John POV**

     A sigh broke through my lips as I stared at my reflection in the old mirror behind the bar. My beard was starting to get grey spots and my eyes looked tired. I know half of it is from the hunting and the other half is from the kids. Dean is kind of a little shit who gets in trouble at every turn. Sammy is just curious and gets into everything. And y/n well you tend to learn from Dean. You don't really get in much trouble but you are afraid of me. I can tell when I walk into the room and you look down and try to be quiet. You're still so small, and haven't done much growing the past year. Part of me wonders if you haven't been eating or getting sleep. I couldn't blame you though. You've had a rough start, and it's all my fault. I rubbed my face and downed my shot of whiskey and signaled the bartender for another. The hunt tonight had been hard, a lot of vamps with a lot of strength. My muscles ached and I even considered trying my luck with a woman but I couldn't bring myself to. For some reason that damned little girl made me start thinking of women as someone's daughter instead of a notch on my belt. I never really imagined having a daughter so it really changed the way I view the world. I don't think of you as my daughter, I just think of you as a little girl who needs my help. 

     I stood up and dropped some money on the bar before downing my last shot. I headed outside and got into the impala groaning at the one car seat still in the back. It really clashed with the badass image of the impala. I headed towards the motel with soft rock playing from the radio. I pulled into the parking spot and climbed out groaning as my joint started popping. I opened the door to see Sam and Dean passed out on one bed and you were on the other bed. But you weren't asleep. You were hunched over reading a book. I ignored it as I walked over to the table and shrugged off my jacket and dropped off my keys. I heard a sniffle  come from the bed you were on and I looked over. Slowly I walked over to where you sat curled up in a blanket. I peeked over your shoulder to see what you were reading and I couldn't stop myself from getting angry. You had my journal clutched in your small hands and you were in a page about demons. There were several illustrations on the page depicting humans being possessed. I leaves over and ripped the book out of your hands and slammed it shut before grabbing your arm and dragging you outside so I wouldn't wake the boys. I stared down at you and crossed my arms as you looked down at your little feet. 

"Where did you find it." Anger rose in my chest 

"It was on the table" you refused to look up at me 

"I've told you several times not to open it y/n!" I growled 

"I'm sorry Mr.John" you croaked out as tears started to fall down your cheeks. 

"Look at me" I ordered and suddenly I wasn't so angry. You looked up at me with big eyes and tears still trailing your face. Your cheeks were slightly flushed and nose was running causing you to sniffle. I sighed and dropped my arms from my chest, how can I be mad at you? I reached forward and wiped away your tears with my thumbs before speaking softly. 

   "Y/n I'm going to tell you something that you can't tell Dean or Sam ok?" This was heavy on my heart. You simply nodded. 

     "There are monsters out in the world that want to hurt good people, monsters that would take over if given the chance. I hunt down and stop the monsters so the world stays safe. So you stay safe." I eyed you for a moment before continuing.

     "I was going to tell you and the boys when you all were a little older and I will teach you how to hunt and stop them when you are older. Only if you want to though. Once you start hunting there is no way out of it." I reached my hand down and payed it on your head, your hair was just passed your chin at this point. I watched you for a long while, giving you a chance to speak. 

"Thank you Mr.John" you mumbles before hugging me. Your hands couldn't reach behind my back and your face was buried into my stomach. This melted my cold heart slightly. 

     "For what?" I asked while I petted your hair. 

"For saving us from the monsters" you mumbled before looking up at me with hopeful eyes. 

     I nodded and opened the door to the motel room before pulling you off of me and ushering you inside. You wiped your face and walked over to the bed where the boys were sleeping and crawled up in between them. I smiled and pulled a blanket up to cover the three of you before walking over and plopping down on my own bed. I didn't bother to take my boots off since we would be up in a couple of hours anyways. I curled my arm behind my head and stared up at the ceiling for quite a while. I started thinking of how Dean would react learning that there were monsters in the world. I already knew Sammy would be afraid, he is afraid of a lot. My mind wandered to you. I started thinking of you being a hunter. That's when I decided that I would start to train all three of you within the next year. I drifted off to sleep with a small excitement growing in my stomach. I would groom the three best hunters the United States had ever seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do want to mention that the first few chapters will be from John's POV until the reader becomes a certain age, maybe fifteen or sixteen. I haven't decided yet. But thank you for sticking with me this far! Warning, it will be a long work. Several chapters!


	4. What's the difference? Age: 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader hits an age where she starts to have some questions that John doesn't know how to answer them.

**John POV**

 

    The door of the motel burst open as the kids poured into the room. They had just gotten home from school, and they seemed to be growing every day. Sammy was already 6 years old and he was smart as a whip. Dean was 10 and just starting to hit puberty as much as I hated it. As for you, age 9 and curious about everything. All of you knew about the monsters and knew how to shoot a gun. I was teaching you three about self defense, Dean and you had even gotten kicked out of school a few times for standing up for yourself against bullies. You guys were growing up fast and you seemed happy which was the best I could wish for my three little hunters. 

     I was sitting on the bed with my ankles crossed when you came bouncing up onto the bed next to me. Dean and Sammy went tearing out of the motel room screaming something about an arcade. I looked down at you and smiled, but it quickly faded seeing the way you looked up at me. 

"What?" I raised an eyebrow at you 

"Mr.John why does Dean kiss girls? I thought he hated girls" you furrowed your eyebrows looking up at me

"Well he is hitting puberty so he is getting interested in girls." I was pleased with the answer I gave 

"Whats puberty?" You tilted your head 

"It's when a person reaches an age where their body starts to change and you start to notice attraction towards people" I tried to be vague yet still answering you

"Oh. I heard Dean talking to some other boys about something that didn't make sense." You looked puzzled

"oh?" Shit

"What's a penis?" Your face was so innocent and it took so much to not start laughing 

"It's what a boy has between his legs instead of a vagina" 

"What's a vagina?" A head tilt

     Well shit. I must have skipped the "talk" with you. I sighed and sat up looking at you. With a deep breath I went into detail and explained the ins and outs of puberty and the difference between boys and girls. Your eyes were wide and you had a blush across your face. You got scared when I told you about birth and sex. You had questions about babies and if that's how every person was made. This conversation was making me feel awkward since I was used to answering Dean's questions about morning wood and why certain women seemed more attractive than others. To be honest I never really thought about ever having this conversation with you. I thought maybe you would ask the school nurse or something. I couldn't look you in the eyes while answering your questions, and explaining the difference between men and women to you. 

"Do I have to do puberty?" You asked feeling embarrassed 

"Yeah y/n everyone does. It'll make you into a woman and make someone very happy one day" that made you giggle before you hopped off the bed and went towards the door saying something about the library.

     I laughed a bit seeing how awkward you were acting. I thought back to Mary and wondered if she would be proud of how I handled that. I thought to your parents and a deep frown set on my features. I wondered if you would have relationship issues later on, I felt a stur in my heart on that thought. Maybe I would have to have a talk with Dean about keeping you safe. I felt a sharp pain in my chest, guilt was overwhelming. Some day I would have to tell you about your parents. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was more funny than anything, really please with the development of the reader so please let me know what you think!


	5. Panic Age: 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a close call and for the first time he feels protective over the reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING there is a close call with a stranger. Please if this is a trigger do not proceed.

**John POV**

 

 

      I sat in the soft grass of the park the kids dragged me to. I was currently working on a hunt, a very troubling one. By all rights the monster seemed like a changling, but it wasn't acting like a normal one. It was as attached to the mother as always, but it's reflection stayed the same. This has me baffled, and increasingly frustrated. I had been working on this damn case for three weeks. The kids were enrolled in yet another school and having the same problems. Sam was being bullied, Dean was being a little shit to his teachers, and y/n was getting into fights. I seriously regretted teaching you how to fight at first. Then I found out you were standing up for Sammy. Kids made fun of him because he would read and play with you or by himself. I outwardly scoffed at how it looked when a 10 year old girl would fight 12 year old boys picking on a kid half their age. I looked up from my journal to see what you guys were doing. Dean was sitting on a bench talking to some girl he'd just met, lady killer. Sam was swinging and laughing at how high he could swing himself and talking with another little boy. You were nowhere to be found and this caused me to frown. 

"Dean!" I shouted to him

"Yes sir?" He asked thinking he was in trouble

"Where's y/n?" I asked

     I got a shrug in response. Great, some pervert probably took you. I jumped to my feet and started combing the area telling Dean to keep an eye on his brother. I started at the playground and looked in every tunnel and under every slide. Nothing. My heart started to pound as adrenaline leaked it's way into my veins. I ventured out further into the park calling your name. I walked into the thicket of trees nearby and called for you. Nothing. My eyes scanned the lake nearby and I still didn't see you. My mind started racing, did a monster take you? Human or otherwise it didn't matter. A monster is a monster and I am supposed to keep you safe from them. I looked from face to face of the people walking around the park enjoying the mild autumn air before it turned to shit. Quickly I ran towards the bathrooms thinking you may be in there. I burst into the men's bathroom to see nothing but a passed out druggie. Walking to the other side to the women's restroom a blush creeped on my face. I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was looking and thank god no one was. Tentatively I pushed the door open and walked in only to be screamed at and chased out by a lady who thought I was some kinky peeping tom. 

     My mind was starting to fill with awful thoughts about where you could be and what could be happening to you. The park started spinning in my vision as I frantically ran through damn near the whole place looking for you. My ears pricked  up when I heard what sounded like you giggle. I searched the area it sounded like it originated from. There you were on the walkway petting a puppy and giggling as it chewed on your fingers. On the other end of that leash was a sweaty looking man with large coke bottle glasses and whisps of blond hair combed over to hide his balding spot. He looked greasy and I felt a knot in my stomach. I started walking towards you when he bent down and grabbed your hand starting to lead you away to what would certainly be your end. Heart pounding wildly I broke into a full on sprint towards you and called your name. My voice boomed, deep and angry at you. You looked over at me and so did the man. He looked back at you and grabbed your arm harshly and started dragging you away. You were a good 100 meters away from me as the man dropped the leash of the puppy and dragged you down the sidewalk stumbling and tripping behind him. I put my all into it and kept full speed in your direction. Your eyes wide as the man pulled you into the wooded area, a sharp skin on skin sound followed shortly after. All I saw was red. Tearing into the brush I saw him above you trying to take your pants off but you were fighting as hard as your little body could. Finally I reached you and grabbed the collar of the mans shirt pulling him backwards off of you and onto the ground. Without thinking I got on top of him and started wailing on him, breaking several bones in my hand and his face with each connecting punch. He was bleeding a lot and crying like a whimp. I couldn't stop myself, I felt a blackout pulling at my vision before hands pulled me off of him. All sound was muffled as police started yelling at the man and me. I turned to look at you and found you standing a mere 5 feet behind me with a bruise on your cheek and wide eyes in complete shock. I shook off the police holding me back and walked towards you dropping to my knees in front of you. My face was red with anger and fear. 

"Don't you ever fucking disappear like that again!!" I couldn't stop the yelling

"I'm so-sorry Mr.John" you whimpered and looked down 

"Do you have any idea what that prick would have done to you!?" I was shaking 

     All I got in response was a quick shake of your head. As I opened my mouth to yell at you again I saw tears flow down your cheeks, that's when it dawned on me that you hadn't cried until now. My heart broke instantly and I grabbed you and pulled you into my arms in a crushing protective hug. As I was hugging you I felt tears pull at the edge of my eyes. You held onto my tightly and cried into my chest. Slowly I stood up holding you in my arms turning to face the police. All I could do was ignore the tears going down my face as they walked closer to me. 

"Is this your daughter?" One of them asked

"A friends" was my answer

"Someone called in saying they saw a man run after another man and a child looking like he was going to murder someone." They cop eyed me, sizing me up

"Yeah that fucker tried to hurt her. He hit her!" I felt anger again thinking about him laying his disgusting hands on you

"We need you to come to the station and answer some questions. She needs to talk to one of our trauma counselors and be evaluated by CPS." He said watching my carefully

"Yeah, ok. I have two boys at the playground just over there though. I need to grab them." I nodded my head towards the playground

The cop agrees and follows me to gather up the boys. They were full of questions, Sammy was clinging onto my hand while I held you on my hip with the other arm. You're still so small and vulnerable even if you were a scrapper. Dean walked on the other side of me, next to you. He was holding your hand and telling you a story to keep your mind off of the ordeal that was unfolding. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      After several hours of interrogation, cross examination, and accusations we walked out of the police station. You and Sammy were chatting in front of Dean and I on our way through the parking lot to the impala. I didn't tell Sammy what happened and neither did you. The counselor said you might repress it as a means of self preservation but it would eventually pull its way up to the surface. I put my hand on Dean's shoulder as we fell back a few more steps. He looked up at me but didn't say anything. When you and Sam got to the car you both climbed in and waited patiently for us. With a deep sigh I got down on one knee in front of Dean and looked up at him. 

"Dean y/n got hurt today." I started

"A man tried to make her do things that she didn't want to do." A furrow pushed its way onto my brow

"Was he who hit her?" He asked. I nodded in response. After several moments of it processing in his head he opened his mouth to speak. 

"Did he rape her dad?" His voice broke 

"No. He tried and I stopped him" I answered. This time it was his turn to nod. 

     "I need you to keep her safe Dean, if I'm not around you have to keep her safe." I looked into his eyes and he nodded understanding me. I stood up and patted him on the shoulder before we joined you and Sam in the car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one went a completely different direction than I originally thought. Shows a tougher side of John but for the right reasons. Also interesting how he doesn't think of you as his daughter even after all of that


	6. A pivotal moment Age: 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader develops an interest in helping John with a case. Dean starts to tease her for not being girly

**John POV**

 

 

One thing that really ticked me off was I never had the chance to work that case before we moved on. One thing that made me smile was when it fell back into my lap a year later. I was currently sitting at the table in the dining room going over the notes I had taken the previous year. You hadn't shown any signs of remembering what happened, and part of me was relieved to be honest. You had gotten really close to Sam as Dean was a pubescent teenager at this point. He got a good amount of joy out of making Sam cry and making you mad. You treated Sam as if he was your baby brother and he needed that is his life. I had my face buried in my notes when Dean came out of the bathroom walking to where you and Sam sat playing some rhyming game. Dean sat down next to you with a cocky grin on his face. 

"Sammy I didn't know you were a baby" he teased

"I'm not a baby" Sam pouted

"Then why are you playing baby games?" Dean poked his arm hard

"Ow Dean! Why are you so mean all the time!?" Sam was starting to get worked up 

"Leave him alone Dean. Go style your hair or something" you jumped in 

"At least one of us would have style" he chirped back rather quickly 

"Whatever" you tried to shrug him off 

"Hey y/n why don't you look like a girl?" Dean smirked at you 

     This made me peek over my book at you guys. 

"I do look like a girl. I have long hair now" you glared at him 

"That doesn't make you look like a girl. It makes you look like a boy with long hair. You never wear girl clothes or do make up" he picked at the sweatshirt you had on 

"You're enough of a girl for both of us Dean." You spat clearly angry with him

     Dean opened his mouth to say something back but I cleared my throat effectively silencing you both before it got out of hand. 

"Whatever. Come on Sam, hang out with me instead of some girl" Dean said standing up

     Sam obediently followed him out the door leaving you sitting on the ground alone. You sat there for a while before standing up and taking a seat at the table with me. 

"Why is Dean such a jerk?" You asked frowning

"He's 12 y/n he's going to be that way for a while" I answered without looking up

"Mr.John?" You looked up at me

"Hm?"

"Can I help?" You tilted your head slightly and kept your eyes on me

"Sure. Read a book on the table" I sighed out slightly annoyed. 

     You grinned and picked up one of the old books looking at the cover. It had the red dragon of Wales on it, definitely an old book. You opened the cover and started reading. I didn't mind you sitting there as long as you were occupied. My mind started to wander to what Dean said. You did still wear boys clothes we already had and you've never worn make up before. Long ago you ditched the pink Barbie backpack for a black messenger back that used to be mine. To be honest I didn't care if you were girly or a butch lesbian, but I didn't want to make that decision for you. You were on the ass end of 11 and getting ready to go into junior high and those kids are always dicks. I didn't want you getting kicked out of more schools because of fighting. I resolved to get a hold of Ellen and see if she could help me out. She has a daughter too but that girl was a little princess and demanded to shop a lot for clothes and make up. Maybe being around a woman who knows what she's doing would be good for you. I was so deep in thought I didn't notice I had been on the same page for two hours. I looked up and rubbed my eyes and glanced over at you. Your face was in a book and you chewed on your bottom lip as if you were thinking incredibly hard. I pulled out my phone book and walked over to the phone to call Ellen while I was thinking about it. 

"Roadhouse" her strong voice answered

"Hey Ell it's John Winchester" I grinned hearing her chuckle 

"Well John to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Got kind of a weird favor to ask of ya" I rubbed the back of my neck

"What'll it be?" She went into connection mode

"I've got this kid. A girl, she's 11 almost 12. I need help"

"What do you want me to do? Get her in the system or something?" There was interest in her voice 

"No no nothin' like that. I need you to take her out shopping. Make up and clothes, teach her how to be a girl you know?" I looked up at you to see you utterly engrossed in the book 

"How to be a girl?" There was anger in her tone 

"Not that I'm sayin' girls should be make up wearin, just to see if she likes it. Take her for a week or two and see if she enjoys it." I was blushing at how sexist I came across 

"Sure John but you'll have to drop her off" Ellen replied after a few moments of silence. 

     "Thanks Ell. I'll be dropping her off in a couple days. You're my best girl" I got a chuckle in response and set down the receiver ending the call. I walked over to you and put a hand on your shoulder making you jump. 

"A friend of mine is going to take you for a couple weeks while I go on a hunt. I want you to be good to her." I said sternly 

     "Yes sir, I think I found something" you excitedly shifted gears

"What'd you find?" 

     You set down the book and pointed at a picture of a creature that looked somewhat like a changling. 

"It's called a Pwca. It's a welsh changling that trades places with the child and once confronted it will disappear and the taken hold will reappear. It'll start out looking like the child then get ugly and bad eventually. You can get rid of it by making porridge and putting it in an eggshell and offer it to the Pwca. It'll say 'I have seen the acorn before the oak, but I never saw the likes of this'. Or you can abuse it and it'll run away." You looked up a John pretty pleased with the look on his face. 

"Well I guess you'll have to start helping more" I grinned

Damn this kid is smart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh Dean you little shit, let me know what you think! Chugged a couple Red Bull's at work and I couldn't stop writing!


	7. Things are changing Age: 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader starts junior high and Dean gets jealous that other boys are paying attention to you. John gets amusement watching them argue

**John POV**

 

It was the first day of a new school, again. This time however you and Dean were in junior high. You were going to start off a fresh faced 7th grader and that morning Dean told you not to follow him around. He groaned something about not being able to be seen with a kid by his 8th grade friends. It made me laugh at how Dean acted too cool to be seen with you. You just shrugged him off, feeling incredibly confident about your first day. You had ended up staying a few months with Ellen. Just a week after you were there you called me and begged me to let you stay until your birthday. I agreed since the boys were with Bobby. I just picked you up a few days ago since your birthday was a week before the new school year. I didn't notice any change in you though, choosing to wear boys clothes still. Until this morning that is. You had gotten up early and been in the bathroom for a while now. Dean was angry that you took up so much time in the bathroom and was grumbling about it all morning. Finally the bathroom door opened and you walked out wearing fitted girls jeans, a girls v-neck band tee with AC DC on it, a pair of black converse and your hair was in an intricate looking braid. On top of all that you also had make up on. All three of us stopped and looked at you, I raised my eyebrow silently telling Ellen that she did good in teaching you. Dean just stood there like an idiot staring at you and it made me chuckle. 

"Y/N! You look so pretty!" 9 year old Sammy exclaimed 

     "Thank you Sammy" you grinned at him and went to grab your bag. Still my black messenger. You grabbed a jacket that was once Sammy's and sat down at the table waiting for Dean to get ready. He gathered himself and went to the bathroom to glob too much gel into his hair. When he was ready all three of you walked to the impala out front. Dean had an unmistakable blush on his face and was quiet the whole ride to school. I promised Sam that he would be dropped off last since he wanted to see you and Dean walk into school like big kids. When I pulled up to the front I told you and Dean to hold on. I put the car in park and turned so I was facing both of you. 

     "I think it's about time you two started carrying something more than just your fists. Don't ever show anyone outside of family, don't ever pull it on someone who isn't a monster, do not get caught with it, and do not tell anyone where you got them." I eyed the both of you before pulling out two boxes from the glove box

     "Ladies first" I held out both boxes to you to pick from. You reached forward and grabbed the box that had red and black with white intricate designs on it. Slowly you pulled the lid off to see a 9 inch Bowie knife with a white and red handle. The handle has a symbol of protection integrated into end, and a matching symbol on the red and white sheath. Deans was black and blue with the same patterns and same length as yours. You quickly undid your belt enough to slide the loop of the sheath onto it before redoing your belt again. It sat against your hip for easy access and was completely hidden. Dean followed suit looking incrediblely excited, Sam just pouted with his arms crossed. You pulled the strap of your messenger bag over your shoulder and grabbed your jacket with a huge grin on your face.

"Thank you Mr.John" you said before climbing out of the car

"Thanks Dad" Dean said quietly before following you 

     I watched until you both were inside the school before driving Sam to his school. On my way back to the motel I found myself hoping that you didn't stab someone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

      I pulled up to your school a bit late since I had to pick Sam up first. He had his face pressed against the window as he was watching the big kids and looking for you and Dean. I looked out the window for a second before I found you and Dean standing together on the steps surrounded by boys. Dean looked pissed and like he wanted to kill someone. You were happy and talking to the boys completely ignoring Dean. I hit the horn a couple times to show you guys I was there. Your eyes shot up to me and you grabbed Deans arm pulling on it to show him I was there. You waved to the boys and walked to the car climbing in the backseat as Dean got in the front. His ears were red and I couldn't stop the grin. As I pulled out into traffic I glanced back at you to see you unfolding several pieces of paper. 

"How was school?" I asked anyone

"Great!" You answered with a huge smile 

"You only think its great cause you got numbers" Dean looked irate

"You're just jealous" you snap at him 

"No I'm not!" Dean glared back at you

"I'm the pretty one now" you quickly stuck your tongue out at him 

     The whole ride home was a back and fourth between you two. You even offered to give Dean some of the boys numbers just to get under his skin, and beamed when it did. I started to think that Dean was developing a little crush on you. I mean it's not like you were related so ther was no reason to talk to him. You and Dean continued to bicker even after we pulled into the parking lot and went inside. It finally settled down when you went to the bathroom leaving Dean to cool off. I thought it was kind of funny to be honest. A few moments later you emerged from the bathroom and walked up to me shaking.

"What's wrong?" I asked looking up at you 

"I'm bleeding" you whispered in my ear

     It took me a few minutes to process what you said. I first thought that you had cut yourself with the knife. Seconds ticked by and finally a lightbulb went off. I stood up fast and grabbed my keys and your arm shouting over my shoulder that we would be back before pushing you out the door. We went to the closest drug store and up to the pharmacist who thank god was a woman. You explained to her what was going on and that you didn't know what to do. She was kind and answered all of your questions and helped you gather what you needed. As we walked out I kept quiet, you were blushing hard and I was embarrassed. God I never thought I'd have to deal with a girl. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Dean might be developing a crush


	8. The family business Age: 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Dean discover a case close by and urge John to let you take part. Arguments spark and action ensues

**John POV**

 

_There was nothing but darkness around us. Darkness swallowing every bit of the world we knew. Darkness masking the horrid creatures it unleashed onto the world. We had our backs against what would seem to be some wooden wall that once belonged to a barn or shed. Sam was clinging onto me shaking trying to not look into the black void of nothingness that inched ever closer. Dean was trying to be brave but I could see the tears flowing down his cheeks. You stood next to me with your knife out staring blankly into the dark, a look of sheer terror plastered across your face. Screams echoed out from the dark, piercing and ripping through the stale ear assisting my ear drums. The atmosphere changed dramatically. The air was humid and warm, uncomfortably so. Sam stopped shaking and I looked down at the top of his head. Very slowly he lifted his face up towards me, it changed. His eyes yellow green pointed at me. They were wider than any human should be able to open, no pupils and no whites. His lips turned up into a disturbing grin, mouth full of pointed grey teeth and a putrid rotten smell followed. I pushed him away and he simply stood there laughing at me like a mental patient, eyes still wide. Dean straightened and walked in front of me with his back facing me. I opened my mouth to call his name but I was cut off by the sickening sound of bones cracking and joints popping. His head tilted backwards to look at me until his ears were even with his shouldblades. He smiled at me as his eyes widened and turned that same yellow green. I felt physically ill as his arms detached from their sockets pulling his skin tight until his hands reached the floor. He desperately began clawing at the wooden floor tearing off bits of skin from his finger tips as he did so. Not once taking his eyes off of me. You were staring at Dean with a look of nothing more than utter terror. I reached out to you, fingers grazing your hand as I tried to grasp it. You looked up at me just as the darkness enveloped you. Your blood curdling scream slipped its way from the darkness only to be drowned out by the insane laughter of the boys as they began towards me._

    I shot up in bed wide eyed and heart pounding. Sweat clung to my skin as I tried to gain control of my breathing. As I brought my hands up to my face I saw that they were shaking furiously. I tried to ground myself, putting my booted feet on the carpet of the motel. Your scream slowly fading from my ears and into my memory. The unnecessarily loud ringing of the phone caught me off guard causing me to jump. Mentally I thanked that the kids were at school and didn't witness anything. With a clearing of my hoarse throat I picked up the receiver. 

"Yeah?" I grunted 

"Mr.John?" Your voice rang through 

"Y/N? Why are you calling?" My eyebrow raised

"I'm at the nurses office. I felt bad, had chills, saw shadows out of the corner of my eyes. Nurse says it's the flu." Your voice hinted at something that you were trying to get across 

"Are you alone?" I inquired

"No. Could you bring me some medicine? It's on the iron tray next to the salt. Nurse says I can't be too careful, a kid died a couple days ago." Clever kid

"Be there in fifteen." I hung up the phone not bothering to wait for a response. 

     Within a minute I was driving towards your school. This school had ninth grade in the same building as seventh, and eighth so you and Dean stuck together. I parked the imapala in front and climbed out, you and Dean were sitting on a bench in the front and looked up when I got there. 

"What do we got?" I asked you 

"Ghost sir. Apparently a student killed himself in the bathroom when a girl dumped him" you replied rather pleased with your research 

"He's buried in the cemetery a few blocks away" Dean finished 

"What's his name? You guys head back to class." I grumbled

"No way!" You protested crossing your arms defiantly 

"Excuse me?" I looked down at you 

"We found the case we should be the ones to take care of it. We did all the research, even told you without letting it out to anyone!" You set your jaw determined to stand your ground 

"Go back to class. You guys aren't too young" I said ignoring the look you were giving me

"Why don't you trust us!?" You raised your voice at me for the first time ever

"You're just kids. You'll do something stupid and get yourselves killed" I put my hands on my hips. Damn I'm turning into a mom. 

"Good luck finding his grave then. Dean doesn't even know" a shit eating grin spread across your face "I'm going and you can't stop me" without another word you took off, booking it down the road and out of sight before I could realize what was happening. 

"Fuck. Dean get in the damn car!" I spat as I turned tail towards the car. 

     A few moments later we were walking through a grave yard looking for any sign of you. I kept grumbling under my breath and Dean just snickered every now and again. I heard the sound of cement being broken and walked towards a mosalium. The door was slightly ajar, and the sound was louder. I pulled back the door just in time to see you throw a book of gas station matches into the tomb you had opened. Pissed I walked up to you and grabbed your arm probably harder than I should've. You winced and looked up at me, that defiant spark gone. 

"What did I fucking tell you about wandering off!?" I felt my ears hear up with anger "Maybe I should send you off to Bobby's for the rest of the school year!" I was yelling now. 

"Why don't you believe in me!?" You shouted as fear crept into your eyes

"It's not that I don't believe in you Y/N, you just have no idea of the dangers!" My grip on your arm tightened 

"I'm not a little girl Mr. John!" You argued 

"Yes you are damn it!" My beck veins were starting to show themselves 

"I just want to be like my parents!!" You screamed before looking down at your feet

     I blinked a couple of times before letting go of your arm. Dean hadn't said a word but just watched the fight. My mind went back to that day, how your parents got killed and your childhood destroyed because of me. Letting out a sigh I rubbed my eyes with one hand thinking hard. 

"If you're going to start hunting no more of this childish bullshit. No more running away, and you have got to listen to me." I pulled my hand away and looked down at you. A huge grin was ok your face and you nodded vigorously. I looked back at Dean who was staring at me slack jawed. 

"You too" I grunted and his jaw snapped shut. I turned and walked out of the tomb with nothing but a headache following me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently for the next chapter my dear reader! I would like to announce that I am taking requests for future projects! Any ideas/requests or even thoughts on my current works are welcome! Please feel free to message me on tumblr supernaturallyfantastically


	9. Rebellion Age: 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has reach an age where she is full of angst and starts to rebel against John, will this continue?

**John POV**

 

 

     I was sitting in the dimly lit dive bar slowly sipping my whiskey, neat of course. There were plenty of young women in here with daddy issues and just my type. It had been a long while since I've been with a woman and to be honest I didn't want to have to play the game for hours just to see if I was going to strike out or not. My eyes fell on a girl that was drinking cheap wine out of a dirty glass. She was taller than my usual conquest, nice legs and a decent rack. Nothing to write home about but definitely a good stepping stone to get back into the game. She looked over at me and offered up a smile, her teeth were crooked but not awful. I raised my glass to her in a cheers motion and she took the bait. Picking up her glass she walked over to me seemingly having a hard time moving in her skin tight dress. I watched her as she sat down next to me and offered her hand for me to shake. 

"Kassidy" she said in a slightly scratchy voice

"John" I muttered back as I shook her hand. 

     The conversation started off rather choppy but seemingly got better as the drinks started flowing. On my fifth whiskey she offered up the idea to head back to her place. I of course agreed. With my whiskey goggles on she looked immaculate. I followed her out to the parking lot and we grabbed a cab. I already knew I was going to get wasted tonight so I left the impala at the motel. We started making out in the back sloppy and loud on our way to her place. Her too heavy red lipstick stained my lips and neck by the time we reached her front door. All in all she wasn't a terrible lay. That being said I wouldn't come back to her. Sitting up in the bed I glanced over my shoulder at her and shuttered getting a hearty serving of the morning afters. I finished tying my boots and snuck my way out of the small house. As I walked towards the motel my hangover reared its ugly head. 

     After a fourty five minute walk I finally made it to the motel room. The image of my bed and cool clean sheets made my heart pound with delight. I had my forehead against the door trying to fish my keys out of my pocket when I froze. Slowly I turned my head to look at the impala or the empty space that once held her. My hangover quickly took a back seat as I damn near kicked my way inside the room. My eyes tore around the room taking in the complete disaster that was in front of me. The lampshades bent, beds off the box springs, curtains in tatters and vomit in every corner. I stomped over to the closed bathroom door and kicked it open to find twelve year old Sammy passed out in the bathtub hugging an empty bottle of cheap vodka. 

"Sam what the hell!?" I screamed at him 

"Dad!" He jumped when I woke him and quickly dropped the bottle

"What in the fuck happened!?" I was growing furious

"W-we had a party" he stammered out

"Where are Dean and Y/N?!" I growled through gritted teeth 

"They went to find someone to buy us more alcohol but they never came back" he refused to look me in the eye 

"Did they take my car?" I was skating at this point. 

     All I got in response was a small nod. I turned on my heel and punched the door as hard as I could, putting a hole in it and breaking a knuckle or two. They could have been anywhere in my car how the hell was I supposed to find them? I groaned and grabbed a chair that was previously in the kitchen and plopped down on it. I sat in that chair for half an hour waiting to see if those damn teenagers would come back. In the middle of me contemplating how I would punish them the motel phone rang out. With a glare I got up and walked towards the junk of plastic on the ground and picked up the receiver. 

"Is this John Winchester?" A male voice spoke 

"Yeah. Who's this?" My brow furrowed 

"This is officer Willard with the Watertown poilece department. I'm afraid we found your kids intoxicated and in the possession of a car that had been reported in a hit and run. The vehicle was impounded and the kids are detained at this time. They have a court hearing today and the could get anywhere from a year in juvenile detention followed by three years in a state prison, or eight months probation. Now you can come and visit them if you'd like but they have not gotten a bail amount set so they cannot be released." He finished off

     My mind went blank. They somehow got alcohol, stole my car, hit another car with it, gotten pulled over, thrown in jail, and had my car impounded all in the course of nine hours. I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I let out a groan, muttered a thanks and hung up. stompping over to the bathroom I grabbed Sam and pulled him up and began walking to the jailhouse. We checked in and sat down in a room with three guards and plastic tables screwed into the concrete floor. A door opened and a guard led you and Dean out into the room. You both had on dark blue jumpsuits and handcuffs. The two of you shuffled over to the table and sat down looking up at me. 

"Who got the liquor" was my first thought 

"Me" Dean replied

"Who took my car" I was trying hard not to explode 

"Me" you answered

"You two are stuck here. I'm not bailing you out after the judge sets it. If you get probation then they will send you to some home for troubled kids. I'm not waiting for you. I have better things to do then watch two idiots go through the system." With that I stood up and grabbed Sam's hand before stalking out the door. I had to find some way to get my car out of impound and over to Bobby's to fix the damage. Damn I was fuming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be a good time to introduce the rebellious stage! Butting heads with John is just the tip of the ice berg


	10. Birthday Girl Age: 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time posting reader pov! Just some feel goods with some feel bads

**Your POV**

    You walked silently down the sidewalk of Binghamton early in the morning. Today was your fifteenth birthday and you'll be damned if you have to spend it at that girls home. Since the impala incident you had spent six months in juvenile detention before being sent to a girls home. You had been there for maybe a month and hated every second of it. The girls were mean and tried to start fights with you because they knew you could fight. Stupid girls just throwing fits because their parents didn't give them everything they wanted. You only saw them as weak people who would eventually become the target of some type of supernatural catastrophe. The judge said you had to stay in the home until your seventeenth birthday but it wouldn't stop you from having fun. You were dressed in a pair of skinny jeans with more holes than Swiss cheese, a Black Sabbath tank top, and a flannel you stole from Dean forever ago tied around your hips. Your trusty knife tucked safely at your side, you never went without it. Today was a big day, you were meeting Dean at a coffee shop and going to spend the day with him. You both had snuck out of your homes after planning it out over the phone. You rounded a corner and found the coffee shop, almost sprinting to it when you saw an older looking Dean sitting on a bench outside of it. 

"Dean!!" You squealed as he stood up and you jumped on him giving him a huge hug

"Y/N!! I missed you!" He said hugging you back tightly

     You stepped back to look at him. He had grown several inches and now looked down at you. He still had that "bad boy" look to him and he had bulked up a bit. You two just stared at each other for a moment noting the changes in each other. He grinned and grabbed your hand and led you away down the street. You two walked for a while just talking about how much you hated the homes and missed Sammy. Dean mentioned that he missed John but you didn't. The day he left you in the jail was the day you stopped depending on anyone. Part of you hated him for leaving you there, but a small part of you liked that he did. It gave you some sort of consistency in the crazy life you had grown into. Dean had mentioned he had a whole day planned and had a surprise for you. He hailed a cab and told the driver to head to Huntington. You didn't ask any questions but your curiosity was beginning to peak as he started to get giddy. When the cab stopped and you two had gotten out you looked around the downtown of the city. The cab had dropped out outside of a library and a young boy with shaggy hair came running out towards the two of you. You squinted your eyes watching him for a second before you realized it was baby Sam. You ran up to him and hugged him tightly almost afraid that it wasn't real. 

"Told you I had a surprise" Dean said with a shit eating grin 

"Sammy you're so big!!" You chirped 

"I'm thirteen Y/N I'm not a kid anymore" he grinned at you 

     The three of you spent the day wandering around, eating and snuck into a couple movies. Sam filled you both in on how John was bringing him along on all the hunts and how they were in town hunting a wendigo. Apparently John had been hitting the bottle rather hard since you guys got in trouble and it made Sam worry. You didn't say anything since you didn't feel any sort of connection with him as you would a real father. As far as you were concerned he was just some guy who took you in after your parents died. As the day drew to an end you and Dean decided to see Sam off before heading back to your homes. You both gave him a tight hug goodbye and loitered outside the front of the motel as he walked to a room. The door of the room opened and John stepped out wearing a bit more grey than you remembered. Something also changed about him but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. You felt your heart beat hard and a small blush rise to your cheeks watching him talk to Sam before getting in the rebuilt impala. 

     You and Dean took a cab back to Binghamton and stood a few blocks away from your home. You didn't want the day to end. You missed Dean a lot and Sam too, you wanted to be with them again and started to feel a bit of remorse for what happened for the first time. Dean gathered you into a crushing hug for several moments before slipping something into your hands. He kissed the top of your head and whispered happy birthday into your ear before smiling at you and turning to walk back to his prison. You looked at your hands and saw something wrapped in newspaper. Slowly you opened the package to see a framed picture of you, Sam and Dean as kids sitting on the impala. A smile spread across your face as you looked st your young faces. You started back towards the girls home and walked in through the front door to be berated with questions from the ma'am of the house, police and other girls. 

     After hours of interrogation you finally made it up to the room you shared with three others and flopped down on the cot that was given to you. As you laid in bed in complete darkness hugging the picture to your chest your mind started to wander. You started thinking about John and began to wonder what changed in him. Why did he make your heart pound? Why couldn't you take your eyes off of his face? Why did it make you nervous to be fifty feet away from him? As you drifted off to sleep you finally realized that you harbored a crush on the oldest Winchester and that thought alone twisted your stomach up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooooh you're a bad kid. Just wait until John sees you


	11. Fancy seeing you here Age: 16

**Your POV**

 

It had been over a year since you've seen Dean and Sam. Two since you've actually spoken to John. You find yourself thinking of him often and the thoughts have started to consume you. Sure you've entertained the idea of him being a father figure but to be honest you've never seen him that way. You've romanticized your seventeenth birthday knowing you'd be more of a woman than a child and hoped he would look at you as such. Puberty had hit you like a truck, and you couldn't complain. Curves started showing up in all the right places and your back end seemed to grow over night. Your hips grew round and slightly wide but not awful. Your chest developed from flat to a full D-cup, it made things more difficult. You couldn't exist without a bra and it was uncomfortable. However you knew that it was something worth having due to the girls getting increasingly mean towards you. It was strange really, living in the same place and dealing with the same people day in and day out. More often than not it was down right irritating, with the exception of school. You rather enjoyed being able to actually make friends and develop relationships with other people. You only had a few friends but talked to quite a few people. Everyone knew you and it floated your ego something fierce.

You were walking down the street towards the high school by yourself the fall morning. You had on a pair of fitted jeans, an old band tee with a couple holes in it and a very worn pair of black converse with random writing and paint splatters. The flannel you had stolen from Dean hung half on your shoulders slightly entangled with the strap of that black messenger bag that had more clothes pins than stitching holding it together. Your hair was loose and flowing down your back, you refused to have short hair. As you rounded the street corner your high school came into view. A groan came from your lips as you begrudgingly approached the building. The courtyard was already filled with people in circles talking amongst each other. You sauntered passed a group of cheerleaders and got several stare downs. Ignoring them you made your way to the stone sign and hopped up onto it. Your legs dangled over the words that read "Binghamton High School". Legs swinging you propped up your bag and fished out a book on lore that you had been reading. Everyone thought that you just had an interest in old folklore from around the world, oh how wrong they were. As you immersed yourself in studying Polish monsters something grabbed your foot. You peeked over the edge of your book to see two brown eyes staring up at you. It was your boyfriend James, the hottest boy in school. He was a senior with brown eyes and feathery hair. Not to mention some stubble growing in what would one day be a beard. You started dating him almost a year ago and it made all the barbies mad. He was sweet and funny and always stood up for you. Plus you had several classes with him so you two would mess around the whole time. He grinned up at you as he tugged you down by your foot.

"You're lucky I've got upper body strength" you said as you lowered yourself down to be trapped between him and the stone sign.

"You're lucky I stick around a nerd" he joked as he looked down at you

You rolled your eyes and brought him in for a kiss that lead to a make out session lasting until the first bell. When the bell rang you grabbed your bag and headed off towards your first class with him, history. You got to your seat in the back of the room and turned to the left continuing your conversation with James. As you two were talking you heard a gaggle of blondes chattering about a new kid. You looked over to the door to see a tall built guy standing there. After a few moments you stood up and couldn't stop your excitement.

"Dean?!" You shouted at him ignoring the looks

"Y/N?" He asked as he looked you up and down

You literally jumped across your desk and sprinted up to him. The moment you reached him you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as you could. He followed by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you flat against him. The hug lasted a long moment before you pulled away and grinned up at him.

"What the hell are you doing here??" You asked excitedly

"I go here now, didn't think I'd actually have a class with you!" He stepped back and looked you up and down "You got hot, what happened?" He teased

"Oh shut up jerk, working a case?" You punched his arm playfully

"No Dad wanted to wait around until we could get you actually" he grinned at you

This made you blush hard and look away. You noticed James staring at the two of you with a look of angry jealousy. In the excitement you had completely forgot about him. Turning back to Dean you grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to your desk.

"Hey James I'm gonna skip today" you told him nonchalantly

"Won't you get in trouble at the girls home?" He asked you giving Dean a shitty look

"Nah they won't find out" you reassured as you grabbed your bag "this is Dean by the way" you nodded your head towards Dean.

He simply looked at Dean and frowned. Dean didn't even acknowledge that James existed as he was busy staring at you. He plucked the sleeve of the flannel and smirked.

"Isn't this mine?" He knew full well how that sounded

"Mine now" you retorted ignoring James as the two of you walked out of class.

     You and Dean ended up skipping the entire day and just talked. He told you about how Sam was becoming so smart, Dean was hunting more and more, and John was put off from the boys. Dean told you how John had dated Ellen for a while and how he goes off all the time now. This made you mad for several different reasons and you knew the first was because you had feelings for John. Dean asked about James and you just said he was there to pass the time. He teased you about sleeping around and you just laughed him off. You knew most people thought that of you but truth be told you were a virgin. You just rolled with it, not feeling like you need to defend yourself against anyone. As the school day drew to a close you and Dean stood in the entryway of the school waiting for John. The familiar rumble forced you to turn your head. There he was, sitting like a king in his black chariot. His beard was full, and flecked with gray. He looked older but still sexy as hell. Dean hugged you and sauntered out towards the chevy. You stood there simply captivated by the pure beauty John held. Your overactive imagination envisioned you sitting on his lap, fingers tangled in his hair as you slid your tongue across his. Subconsciously you squeezed your thighs together at the thought of his rough hands pushing up your shirt and touching the soft skin across your lower back. You could only imagine the way his undoubtedly impressive bulge would feel pushing against your jean clad intimate parts. A hard blush flushed your cheeks when you forced yourself back into reality. You watched as they drove off and a sly grin played your lips. Even though you wouldn't be able to talk to him until next year, you could secretly see him almost every day until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a terrible human being and made another chapter but just saved it as a draft. I'm so sorry!! But here it is all polished for you wonderful people!


	12. Here we go Age:17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? It's your 17th birthday and you finally get to go home with John. How will your meeting go? Note: I will jump to John POV for the later bit of this chapter

**Your POV**

 

     The ear splitting sound of the communal alarm startled you awake. You laid in bed for several moments trying to gather yourself into an actual human being. Sitting up you stretched and yawned ignoring the looks the other girls were giving you. God forbid you actually look terrible in the morning like a human being instead of a clone. With a sleepy body you dragged yourself out of the cot and walked eyes closed to the bathroom. Groaning and griping you started the shower and took off the plain grey shirt that once belonged to John and the girl shorts that were a bit too short. You clambered into the shower and let the hot water slide down entire body. The last year your body seemed to get even more womanly somehow. Your hips had finally settled and your acne had more or less subsided thank god. One thing you hated about developing was all the hair. The shaving was such a chore but you did it carefully every day just incase someone would happen to see. After your shower you wrapped yourself up in a worn blue towel and trudged your way downstairs to get a bowl of cereal. As you walked into the kitchen everyone got quiet and watched you. 

"What?" You asked

    "Happy birthday Y/N" the mistress replied 

     You stood there for a second staring at her. The entire room could hear the ticking of the egg timer going in your head. Your eyes widened and you gasped as a small ding went off in your head. You tore up the stairs to your room and looked at the calendar and there it was. Circled in red August 15th read the word freedom. With a loud cheer you practically skipped to the bathroom to get ready. You had to look your best since John was coming to save you.

     You spent a long while on your hair, straightening and spraying it lightly with hairspray to stay voluminous and bouncy. Make up was done perfectly and teeth had been brushed, flossed, and mouth had been washed. You grabbed all of your bathroom things and strutted out to your room still wrapped in the blue towel. After you got to your cot you dug around your bag of clothes for the perfect outfit. You settled on a pair of jean shorts with frayed ends paired with a scoop neck charcoal gray tank top that hung low on the sides showing your red lace bandeau, you tied the black and red flannel around your hips for added flare. As far as shoes you decided to slip on a pair of comfortable black chucks. You had your knife strapped to your hip as always and looked at yourself in the mirror rather proud of your work. All of your clothes and keep sakes had been packed into the worn messenger bag and a plain back pack. You dragged your bags downstairs and outside into the yard in time to see James walking up to the building. 

     "Hey Y/N! Today's the day?" He asked with a pained smile on his face

     "That it is James" you hugged him tightly 

     "I was hoping you would stick around until graduation" he mumbled into your hair 

     "I'm done with school James. I graduated this summer" you pulled away and looked up at him 

     He frowned then nodded. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kisses you deeply taking your breath away for the first time. You both stood there for a while kissing each other and enjoying the last moment you two would share. As you pulled away a loud rumbling emitted from the street. You looked over and your breath caught. There he was climbing out of baby, black tee shirt and fitted jeans with black combat boots. His body looked hard and tough under the clothes he wore. His hair had gotten longer and slightly more gray but it looked on so sexy on him. His eyes were on Sam and Dean as they clambered out of the car. You pulled away completely from James and fixed your hair and clothes. Seconds later Sam was calling your name and running up to you quickly followed by Dean. Sam got to you first and hugged you tight enough to break your ribs. His hair had gotten shaggy and his face was starting to slim down making him look so much older. You hugged him back with a huge smile on your face. After a moment he stepped away and Dean crushed you in a bear hug and lifted you up off of your feet. His body was hard and his face was mature, showing signs of stubble along his chin. He was an adult now and it showed in his appearance. After dean put you down you turned to come face to face with a built chest and you slowly dragged your eyes up to the face. John stood there looking down at you with no emotion on his face as per usual. Without thinking you reached your hands up to his shoulders and pulled him down into a hug. After a moment you felt him wrap his strong arms around your midsection and lift you up off the ground. You buried your face into the crook of his neck and you could have sworn you heard him take a deep inhale of your hair. All too soon he put you down and leaned over and picked up your bags to throw into the trunk. You turned to face James and took a deep breath and hugged him one more time mumbling a goodbye in his ear. 

     You turned from him and raced off to the car beating Dean to the front and calling shot gun the second your hand touched the handle. He griped but let you have the front seat. You climbed in and rolled down the window as everyone else filed into the car. John started the engine and drove off down the road. 

**Johm POV**

   As we headed towards the high way I gripped the hell out of my steering wheel. The girl I hadn't seen in three years turned into a woman that I'd love to have sit on my face. I glanced over at her with her legs curled up, arm under her head and eyes closed with the wind bellowing through her long hair. She had really turned into something amazing. Legs that went on for days, an ass I could only imagine be tight, strong looking muscles and her confidence. She knows she is sexy, god I shouldn't be thinking of her this way. She's 17, not even an adult yet. Somehow I was sitting next to this gorgeous girl with my cock hard as hell and all I can think of is having her bouncing on my cock. Fuck this is going to be a long trip and I can already feel my balls turning blue. I glanced at her again and let out a very low growl, I had to have her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?!? What'd you think!? Also I am still taking requests you can contact me via tumblr supernaturallyfantastically or you can email me naturallykraketan@gmail.com


	13. Should this line be crossed? Age:18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the weekend of your 18th birthday and you decide to act like an adult 
> 
> Sorry it was so long!!

* * *

**Your POV**

 

 

      You had been back with the Winchesters for a little over a year and it had been a great time for you. You grew only slightly taller putting your height at 5'3 and the boys loved to tease you about it. This year of hunting you had been going hard, physically exerting yourself every night. Although it wasn't all bad, you had developed very nice muscle tone and had gotten much better at hand to hand. The four of you were currently in Vegas stopping for the night before pushing onto the next hunt. Dean was understandably excited about being in sin city and he wanted to go out and experience it first hand. The four of you had settled in a worn motel room decorated in corny heart novelties. John had been atimite about keeping everyone in one room, it had been like this since he picked you up. You didn't mind though, you got to be in the same room as him every night. He had slowed down drinking and didn't ever follow up on the several advances he had received from women. This was strange but you never looked into it.

     You plopped down on the couch with a groan and kicked off your converse as you pulled a lore book from your bag. You kicked up your feet on the dingy heart shaped coffee table and opened the book. Dean walked in behind John carrying his duffle bag, he was pestering his dad again. Sam just sauntered into the room and sat down next to you. He had gotten much taller and even graduated school at the age of sixteen. He nudged your arm and nodded his head towards John and Dean, he was pretty much begging his dad to let him go out. You tilted your head when Dean mentioned you didn't get the chance to celebrate your birthday earlier that week due to a hunt. John groaned and looked over at you almost asking if you wanted to go. A simple shrug was all it took for John to agree and Dean to shout with glee. 

     "Get your sexy little dress on Y/N!" Dean grinned and pulled you up off the couch and pushed you in the direction of the bathroom. After about an hour of showering, doing your make up, and braiding your hair you finally stepped out of the bathroom. All three of the men stopped and stared at you. You had on a black dress that was fitted and cut off just before mid thigh. It had two shoulder straps and a very plunged neckline that stopped just after your sternum. The sides of the dress were opened and adorned with small silver colored chains down to the top of your hips. You felt sexy as hell and the looks the guys gave you told you that everyone else thought so too. You sauntered over to your bag and pulled out a pair of black stilettos with a six inch heel and platform under the ball. You slipped them on then turned to look at the guys with a small grin on your face. 

"Well?" You held your arms out 

   "Damn baby you clean up nice!" Dean winked at you, he stood up and straightened out his navy blue button up and white tee shirt 

"Sam are you gonna come with?" You  strapped your knife to your thigh

    "Yeah I'll go with you, let's have fun tonight" he smiled before standing up and changing into a black button down

   "What about you?" You peered at John and only received a head shake in response

      After Sam changed the three of you headed out the door into the Vegas night. 

 

**John POV**

     The moment the door closed I let out a shaken breath. Holy shit she looked like a fucking sex kitten! It took all I had not to pounce on her. The way that dress hugged her ass I could tell she wasn't wearing any panties, and god did I want to bend her over the bed. I stood up and looked down at the hardness pushing painfully against my jeans. I quickly locked the door and closed the blinds before rummaging through her bag. I found a sexy little red thong and grinned to myself. Hell I knew this was bad and fucked up on so many levels but I couldn't stop myself. I plopped down on the bed and undid my pants rather feverishly. Slowly I reached in and pulled out my cock, hard as fuck. I leaned my head back against the headboard and slowly brought the thong up to my face. I took a deep inhale and I could almost imagine her pussy pressed up against my face. I wrapped a hand around my hardness and slowly started to move. _The thoughts that were going through my mind were enough to make the devil blush. I imagined her walking up to me in that dress, and kissing me hard. My hands roamed up to her ribs and I could feel her warm soft skin contrast the metal chains. I pulled the small amount of cloth covering her beasts to the side and they gleefully sprang from their prison. I could just imagine how perfect her breasts would look. I brought my hands to them and held them giving them squeezes every now and then, her nipples are getting hard. I leaned down and dragged the entirety of my tongue up one pert nipple and she shuddered. I brought my lips around it and started to suck on it. Her head was lolled to the side and her hands rested on my shoulders. With a small pop and a string of saliva I moved to the other one and she loved it._

     I let out a shuddering breath and gripped myself harder. I brought her thong down and wrapped it around my cock. The fabric was soft and it felt so good on me. I closed my eyes and went back to my imagination. 

      _I kissed my way down her front until I was on my knees. I pulled her dress up to her hip bones and stared. I could feel my mouth begin to water seeing her cleanly shaved pussy right in front of me. It was beautiful and looked down right tasty. I kissed her thighs then her pelvic bone. I dragged my tongue along where her legs met her groin. Slowly I leaned forward to the prize in front of me. I pushed my tongue in between the openings of her wet pussy. Good lord she tasted like heaven. I lapped at her for a long while before pulling away and standing up. I undid my pants and let my cock free. I pushed her down on the bed and spread her legs, getting a good view of her. I climbed on top of her and got on my knees. Slowly I dragged the head of my cock along her opening, coating it in her wetness._

    Fuck! I couldn't even make it to the end of my fucking fantasy! I looked down and saw the mess I had just made. My cum was all over the red thong, completely saturating the soft material. I groaned and tossed it in my bag before heading to the bathroom to clean myself off. 

**Your POV**

You, Dean, and Sam stumbled into the room at four in the morning. All of you completely hammered. You kicked off your heels and laughed when one landed in the sink of the room. John looked up at the three of you and raised an eye brow. It has to look funny to him, you completely hammered with lipstick on your neck, Sam with a black eye and a pair of panties hanging out of his pocket, and Dean with no shirt on, one shoe and what looked like a tattoo on his upper arm. Sam walked over to the bed and plopped down subsequently passing out seconds later. You swerved your way up to John and poked him in the chest. 

"Dean got a ta-t" you yelled/sang at him 

    "I see that" he answered calmly as Dean went to the couch and sunk into it with a groan

"I got one too, you whispered and bent at your hips giving him a wonderful view of your breasts. 

"Do you wanna see it?" You grinned 

    "Sure..."he said not taking his eyes off of the skin that was pushed in his face. 

     You grinned and turned to your left side and hiked up the dress so it showed the mid of your hip. There was a picture of the impala etched into your skin. His eyes widened and he looked up at you just for you to push him back on the bed and straddle his lap. You put your hands against his chest and wiggled your hips a little grinning at him. 

"Wanna know a secret?" You dragged your teeth along your bottom lip 

"O-ok" he muttered

     "I'm a virgin and I know who I want to give it to" 

"Oh?" Was all he could say 

"Mhm I want you to take it" you blurred out drunkenly confident 

"Well I want that too"he grinned at you 

   "Let's fuck right now" you grumbled

"As much as I want to, I cant" he said and pulled your arms away from him. He stood up with you in his arms and laid you down on the bed before sliding in next to you. 

    "I want you to remember your first time. That's the only time I'll ever be gentle when I'm having my way with your supple little body" he growled in your ear

     You laid there for several seconds processing what he said and a blush came to your face at the images it conjured up. Slowly you could feel yourself losing the battle with consciousness as a strong chest rose and fell against your back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Again I am taking requests via tumblr supernaturallyfantastically and email naturallykraketan@gmail.com


	14. Giving in   Age:19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

**Your POV**

 

 

You stood in the dusty living room with your .45 magnum revolver held tightly in your hands. John had managed to track down a werewolf in Fargo, Montana and the four of you soon found out that it was more than just one measly werewolf. Dean was checking the outside perimeter, Sam and John went around the back of the house and checked the barn. You had went through the front door and truth be told you were a little anxious. The air was dirty smelling and it coated your lungs with each shaking breath. Slowly and silently you made your way over to the staircase leading to the basement. Luckily you were wearing your lucky converse so your steps were muffled. Your hand reached out and gripped the door handle, with a deep breath you eased the door open and peeked down the stairs. It was dark and silent down there, but you felt a cold chill go up the back of your neck. Your instincts were telling you that they were down there and it scared you for some reason. Carefully you let your feet carry you down the dirty stairs towards the darkness. When you reached the bottom of the steps you held your breath straining your ears for any sort of noise. After a split second you heard an intake of breath, without a second thought you swung your body around towards the sound and fired. The shot hit something and it fell with what you imagine would be a thud, although your ears were ringing something awful due to the echo of the gun going off. out of the corner of your eye you saw a shadow cut through the sliver of moonlight and you spun around firing again. At this point you were panting and shaking from the adrenaline. You let out a sharp gasp as a stinging sensation came from your left bicep. Gasping for air you looked down at your arm and saw blood pouring down your arm. The culprate was standing in front of you showing its large teeth. Without thinking you brought your gun up and fired directly into its mouth causing its mouth to implode and splatter blood against your face. Shaking you looked down at your arm and started screaming as loud as you could. Shock finally hitting you like a truck and you dropped to your knees as you heard a growling behind you. The growling grew closer and you felt drool hit your shoulder and slide down your back. Within a second you felt a second stinging sensation across your right ribs. You let out another scream and fell forward onto your hands holding your ribs with your bloodied left hand. The sound of shouts and gunfire pierced the air and the growling beast fell next to you with its eyes wide open staring at you. Breathing started to hurt, your lungs felt like they were raw. Shoes appeared in front of you, working boots to be specific. Shortly after the shoes turned into knees and hands gripped your shoulders. As much as you wanted to listen to the words coming from the grown man's mouth you couldn't. You furrowed your brows and forced yourself to stand only to be swept up in a bridal hold against your saviors chest. Within moments of being picked up you lost consciousness.

      A groan passed your lips and you opened your eyes. Looking around you noticed you were in a motel room but you weren't alone. John was sitting in a chair next to the bed slumped over asleep. You went to sit up and winced, a sharp pain went through your ribs. Taking a deep breath you pulled up your blood soaked tank top to see stitches across your ribs, three lines of them to be exact. With a sigh you pulled your tank top off and tossed it next to the bed. You looked down and mentally high fived yourself for wearing a cute black and red lace bra. Slowly you pulled the blankets off of yourself and noticed blood covering your shorts. With a struggle you managed to pull them off and climbed out of bed. You stretched out and let out a relieved sigh at the fact that you had an unnaturally high pain tolerance. On slightly shaky legs you walked to the bathroom and wet a wash cloth with warm water and gave yourself a sponge bath. Stepping out of the bathroom you had better footing and you looked over at John. He was awake and staring at you. You gave him a small crooked smile.

"Hey there sleepy head" you chirped at him

"How're you feeling?" he asked as he struggled to keep his eyes on your face

"Not too bad" you said as you turned towards the bed

"Hm" he mumbled as hisneyed drifted towards your rear

"Are you going to just stare at me or are you going to touch it?" you calmly said as you sat down on the bed

"Wh-what?" he swallowed hard as his pulse started to quicken

"I want you John, I almost died last night and I'm not afraid to ask you about it anymore" you pulled your hair over your shoulder and snapped the g-string of your red thong

"Oh?' his eyes darted to your thong and he grinned as he slowly rose to his feet

"I know you want me" you glanced over your shoulder at him

"Why do you think that?" he tilted his head and he could feel his pants growing tight

"I found that thong you cleaned your com up with. That's naughty John" you replied

     The bed dipped behind you as John climbed on ridding himself of his shirt. He crawled on his knees towards you and traced his fingers along your exposed shoulder. You closed your eyes and leaned your head to the side exposing your neck to him. He leaned his head forward and kissed your neck softly. You let out a breath as his lips ghosted over your skin and his facial hair tickled. You let out a groan and leaned your head back and rested against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and slid his hand up to your cheek, covering your cheek, jaw, and part of your neck. He stared at you for a moment before sealing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and heart felt, but it turned heated really quick. You brought your arm up and tangled your fingers in his peppered hair deepening the kiss. After several moments you pulled away and licked your lips. You stood up and turned getting on your knees on the bed. He placed his hands on your hips and gave the a squeeze as he kissed your throat. His lips trailed down to the valley of your breasts and tugged on your bra with his teeth. You giggled and he brought his hands up behind you and undid your bra with ease. When it fell from your body you sucked in a breath as your nipples hardened. He pushed his forehead against your sternum and brought his hands around to cup your breasts. He dragged his thumbs across both of your nipples and let out a breath against your skin. You tangled your fingers in his hear and let out a soft moan at the contact. His hands worked their way down your body careful to avoid your stitches, soon his fingers found the hem of your thong. You bit your lip in anticipation, honestly feeling scared. Yeah you had thought about it for a long time but you were a virgin. His fingers tugged your thong down to your knees and you were hyper aware of the pounding of your heart, hoping that he couldn't feel it against his forehead. You heard him breath out a fuck that made your skin tingle. His fingers dragged across your hips and slowly worked his fingers down to your increasingly wet pussy. Soon his fingers touched your clit softly and it elected a loud moan from you. He chuckled and slid his fingers in between the small folds of skin covering your opening. You tipped your head back and pushed your hips forwards against his finger.

"Your dripping little girl" he purred against your skin

"Nhhhah" was all you could say back to him

     He chuckled and dragged his tongue down your torso, stopping just before your clit. He quickly turned on his back and laid down with his head in between your thighs. You looked down at him and grinned before spreading your legs until you hovered just above his smirking mouth. You put your hands on his torso for help keep your balance when you felt it. The first lick was so intense, it almost made you fall over. His tongue was soft and the way his facial hair rubbed against your skin drove you mad. You leaned forward and started to undo his pants. You licked your lips tentatively and reached in and pulls his hard cock from the confines of his jeans. You wrapped your hand around his base and slowly pumped him eliciting a groan of encouragement. You leaned forward and wrapped your lips around the head of his pulsing cock. His head was soft in your mouth and a bead of pre-cum slid out onto your tongue. It tasted different than you thought, salty but not as intense as you imagined. As you sucked harder you pushed your head down until you had half of him in your mouth. He was wriggling his hips slightly and moaning against your skin which made you drip. You pulled off of him with a soft pop and he slid out from under you. He got off the bed and pushed his pants down to his ankles.

"How do you want to lay?" he asked as he ran his hand up and down his cock

"Bend me over" you said with a grin

      He smirked in response and watched as you got on your knees sticking your ass up in the air. He grabbed your ass roughly before dragging his head along your opening. You took a few deep breaths readying yourself for the big moment. Your eyes widened as he eased himself inside of you, heart pounding a sweat started breaking put on your skin. You bit your lip hard as his girth and length filled you to the hilt. Your arms started shaking and he wrapped an arm around your mid section pushing his forehead in between your shoulder blades.

"It's ok baby girl, I got you" he kissed your skin softly before starting to move his hips. It felt weird at first but then a small pressure was building in your lower belly. You let out a loud moan as the head of his cock rubbed against your g-spot. He grinned and wrapped his other hand in your hair giving it a slight tug.

"That's it sweetheart, you like that cock?" he grunted out against you

"Mmm fuck John that feels amazing!" you moaned out

     He smirked and pulled almost out of you before slowly easing himself back in. You arched your back as he pulled your hair hard. You felt the pressure building in your lower tummy and you knew you were close to breaking. You couldn't even think to form words as John pounded into you, the slapping sound of wet skin filling the room only paired up with the moans from the both of you. It was building to the point of being uncomfortable, then it happened. You broke and had an orgasm from someone other than your own fingers. You screamed out louder than intended and you heard John behind you groan loud. He pushed his hips against your back end as deep as he could. You felt his cum fill you, and it started dripping out of you. He slid put and you dropped on your stomach on the bed. He flopped down next to you and pulled you against him. The two of you laid there catching you breaths for a long while.

"I was a virgin John" you spoke softly

      "I know baby" he grumbled and pulled the comforter around the two of you. You smiled before getting comfortable and snuggled closer to him. Who would have known it would have worked out this way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD! I was giggling while writing this like an immature child. Please tell me what you think!


	15. Happy endings are for fairy tails  Age:20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The last chapter of this fan fiction. Please be honest with me about any thoughts you've had

**Your POV**

 

     You and John had been going steady since you were 19. The two of you would often take long trips to chase down hunts together. Dean knew about your relationship and he has more or less accepted it. Sam wasn't too happy about it. In fact it was one of the things him and John fought about before Sam left for college. Sam got in John's face and told him that he was replacing Mary with you and that he was heartless for grooming you into his sex toy. To be honest that hurt more than you would ever let on. You knew John loved Mary and you knew that people wouldn't approve of your relationship but regardless you had grown to love him. After the fight, after Sam had left John pulled you onto his lap and cuddled with you silently for over an hour. He never mentioned it ever since. You never really brought up the affectionate things he's done with you. John was never one to be vocal about his feelings and he was that way with you too. However, you were still happy with him. Happy that you got to be the one that he fell asleep next to, the one he would have sex with. He's blown off every girl that made advances on him because he said you mattered to him. You told him every day and every night that you loved him, and never once lied about it. 

     You and John had been on such a hunting trip for a few days. After you took out the vampire the two of you spent your time naked in a motel bed exploring each other's bodies and souls. Every night you were purely exhausted from the physical exertion of the day. Tonight was such a night, you had fallen asleep in his arms earlier in the evening. For some reason you woke up at two in the morning with a weird feeling. You reached over to the bedside table and clicked on the lamp. The bed was empty except for you. With a frown you got up and checked the bathroom. Nothing. You were completely alone and your heart was starting to race. Without a second thought you scrambled around the room and got dressed. As you were grabbing your gun from the bedside table you saw a piece of paper folded neatly next to it. You sucked in a breath and reached for the paper. 

 

**John POV**

 

     I laid in bed stroking her soft hair as she slept against my chest. Ever since Sam left for college his words have been ringing in my head. Maybe this relationship was wrong. I mean I care for her in ways that a man cares for a woman but I wouldn't say I loved her. No I loved Mary but I care for Y/N. My heart had been torn with the decision I have to make. Every day she tells me she loves me and I can see that she genuinely means it. I don't want to lose her or have her be with anyone else but that could be me just being selfish. What kind of life could I offer her? It was because of me her parents died, because of me she got bullied. It was my bad judgment to leave them alone all night when they were younger all the time. She grew up without parents and without any sort of guidance. I looked down at her sleeping face and my heart felt heavy. I don't ever want to hurt her, but isn't that exactly what I'm doing? I looked over st the clock and it read one fourty in the morning.  I knew that I couldn't ever be what she needed me to be. Slowly I snuck out from under her and packed my things. I carefully wrote her a note so she doesn't panic when I'm gone. I looked at her beautiful face and kissed her head one last time before leaving. With a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart I walked out of the room. I slipped into the imapla and took off towards the highway. My hands gripped the steering wheel tight and I couldn't fight the tears that streamed down my face. I was lying to myself when I said I didn't love her. I love her more than I can take, but I can't drag her around like this anymore. 

 

_My love,_

_You mean the world to me. And because of that I have to go my own way. Many years ago I made a promise to someone. Someone very special, that I would find out who hurt her. I have put it off for my own selfish gain but that's over now. I loved our time together, but I have to make things right._

_Love always, John_

 

**Your POV**

 

****You felt your heart break as you ran your eyes over the words again and again. Tears fell freely from your eyes as you picked up your phone and called Dean.

"Dean?" You breathed 

"Yeah?" He sleepily replied 

"John went off on a hunting trip..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am taking requests for any sort of writing. Tumblr: supernaturallyfantastically and my writing email is naturallykraketan@gmail.com


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